beautiful windy day

Soluna was baptized yesterday and although I should be totally exhausted and asleep, I woke up two hours ago and have not been able to go back to sleep. So many thoughts are running through my mind. It was a beautiful baptism. I love Father Jason from St. Columba Church. He is a smiley, funny guy who makes everyone feel welcome. I thought it was nice that folks were actually able to speak and talk about the gifts they want to give Soluna: a love of family, confidence in herself, a curiosity for the world, ambition, perseverance, a connection to community, spirituality, passion and compassion. All the things I want for her, I didn't need to say anything. Ben held her as she was being blessed by water. I couldn't squat in my dress to hold her myself. =( But she didn't cry and I got a perfect view of everything. I told myself at that moment to hold that memory, that picture, forever. I almost cried.

Following the ceremony, we had a big party at the park. Dude, I suck at throwing parties. I feel like I am running around with my head chopped off. I think I just feel like I have 100 things to do and maybe it's partly just perception, but it keeps me going and going and going. I realized that after being at the park for, I think, about 4-5 hours I had only eaten 3 tacos and drank 2 small cups of pineapple juice. I drank no water and although there was hella food I just had 3 tacos.

Poor little Soluna was being passed around and around. This is really hard for me and her. Sometimes she is perfectly chill and I am happy to get a break. (Thanks Diana and Lali for dancing with her and pushing her around in the car until she had to share). Other times she just does NOT want to be held by other folks and everyone is trying to grab at her (today it was mostly my aunties). Mamas just KNOW when their babies have had enough. But there was constant pressure to pass her off and sometimes I just let folks know that I needed to change her, feed her, take a picture with her, etc. But other times they were like "give her to me" every 5-30 minutes and I am left to come up with an excuse or if I do give in then, usually, within 5-10 minutes the wind would carry her cries to my ear and I have to grab her back. Sometimes, I'd hear comments here and there about "Why is she crying?" "She doesn't like other people?" "It's going to be hard if she just likes you." ... Dude, she's had a long day and it's windy out.

I don't know where people began to think that it would be the norm for babies to be passed around happily and giggling from person to person. If any adult had to be passed around and stimulated over and over by different people, they would probably cry too. Babies aren't dolls! And, Soluna has her own opinions about things and she'll voice her opinion until she gets what she wants! And, I don't think I should feel bad that she wants her mama. (Anyhow, I digress.)

We came home and, since we didn't take any leftovers, I had to order food from Can't Fail. I asked for a bacon cheeseburger, fries and a shake and nearly stuffed it all down in 10 minutes. And, while I was waiting for Ben to pick up the food I had a HUGE mango and drank the equivalent of 3 bottles of water.

Benji and I did our plus/delta evaluation of the day and I now know why a pizza parlor baptism/birthday seems like a great choice for parents. I am definitely convinced that we are going to have a nice, intimate gathering for Soluna's first birthday. And by intimate, I mean no more than 50 people. Hahaha.

Overall, it was a nice day. I was gratful for all the help from Soluna's new nina, nino, ninang and ninong! And also grateful for all our families have done to help us out. We are very blessed. And Soluna's new life has begun with great blessings and hope for the future.

On this day our little Soluna joins the ocean of life...

Let the water remind us of the waves she may
encounter or create.

Help us to prepare her for the ebb and flow of
life's ever-changing seas.

Teach her to decide when it is wise to float with
the current or swim against the tide.

And lead her to that deep pool of faith, hope, and
love within her own heart.

** A poem from: Baby Blessings