When I imagined my baby as a pregnant mama, I saw beautiful dark brown skin, chubby cheeks, leg rolls, "Asian" eyes and deep dimples. That was me as a baby. Growing up my sister and I were bombarded with comments that made us question our very "Filipino" noses, our dark skin color or our weight... I was ready to raise that baby to love her brown skin, to be happy in her own body.
Then beautiful little Luna came into the world with features that I did not expect. Soluna's compliments, especially from my family, have a lot to do with her more "Spanish" features. "She's going to have a high nose! Just wait!" or "She's so cute... so fair-skinned!" ... "Her eyes are so big!"... "What color are her eyes?! They're light!" And I am so confused on how to respond or react to these compliments that have historical thorns -- of(internal) colonialism.
How can I help Soluna find beauty in her own body without having to define beauty the same as our colonizers? How do I re-balance my own views of beauty and realize that it's not as simple as "the darker the berry the sweeter the juice"? And this emphasis on young women's bodies and outward appearence, how do I help Soluna take pride in her body without obsessing over it?
At least I have a little time to figure this out, before she can "really" understand it all.
1 comment:
hey hey, shes still BROWN in our eyes! lol! make sure she wears that shirt proudly!
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