i need to write.

I have never itched to write as I do at this moment. It's like each figertip tap gives some kind of release that even conscious breathing and relaxation exercises can not. Mamahood as a woman of color in the United States, a child of immigrants, is not what you read in "What to Expect" books. You can try to fit your experience into any kind of "normal" chapters, but it would not give justice to your instincts as a mother, to your culture and community, or to the political injustices that your family faces. The past 6 months, since Soluna Laya's birth on December 23, 2007, have changed my world profoundly. I have felt life more deeply: beautiful joy, nostalgia, paranoia, sadness, curiosity, self-doubt, clarity, confusion. Each emotion pushing me to learn, to grow, to ask questions, and to become an even better mama. I write to figure this shit out and to remember. These days are precious.



A picture of my little darling during her first few weeks. Babies grow so fast.