Playground Politics: The Aggressively Gentle Mom and Daughter

I keep telling everyone that I want to write an article about playground politics. I have a lot of "observations" but have no idea what I would be trying to get at in such an article. I don't think there are specific rules that kids or parents need to follow and I'm not yet convinced that the playground is a microcosm of the real world, although I still think race/class/gender are neat to observe in playground interactions.

Even without a thesis, let me just share one of my observations for today. Soluna and I went to Willard Park in Berkeley. Soluna and, apparently a lot of other children, love this orange car that has a roof and door. She had been eyeing it since we got the park and when a little girl with a strawberry dress left it, Soluna ran over to claim it. As soon as she got close the girl, who was probably about her age, turned around and starting pushing Soluna away saying "No!" Soluna started to whine and the mom noticed their little interaction.

At this point, Soluna, obviously had no interest in this little girl or her mom. But the mom thought it was the appropriate time to teach her daughter to be "gentle." So she told her daughter, "Be gentle. Gentle. Gentle." while grabbing her hand and trying to get her to stroke Soluna gently. Normally, I've seen this work and have done it with Soluna (usually before and not after she's already pushed someone). Soluna, like I sad, had no interest in them and kept shaking her head and saying no. She grabbed onto my leg to get behind me. But the mom was adamant to teach her daughter gentle and regardless of the obvious "Get the hell away from me!" body language the two of them continued to approach her to stroke her "gently."

Come on mamas and papas? What would you like to teach your kids more: to touch other kids gently or to not touch kids that don't want to be touched?!?!

Anyways, I thought it was interesting and crazy. The mom did turn to me after the little episode and said, "Sorry. We're kinda crazy about these things." ... and if I wasn't so puzzled and taken back about what she had just done, I should have said, "Yea. Crazy is the word I would use."

What is this? What is it that I can say about this? Are there rules to interactions? Do parents just have to be better socialized themselves?

Hello, again...

someone said that the short baby boom was over. Apparently, my friends did not get the memo. There have been so many new baby posts on facebook and more babies on the way to count. I have a little bit of an itch to have our second, but I keep thinking about how nice it is to have just Soluna and I together during the day. Things are finally starting to feel a little easier and we've been laughing, playing and exploring together more without as many little baby issues to worry about.

Ben and I feel blessed every day to have Soluna in our lives. She has such a big personality. She makes little jokes (like some of her actions are specifically made to make us laugh). She giggles uncontrollably at times. She enjoys good food. At a wedding this past weekend, she took a break from cake to run to the dance floor and boogie. She kisses me all over, just because. And, she's the sweetest to little babies. Yet, she is still her fiesty, demanding self, which I hope will transfer to a passion to get what she wants out of life.

I love her.

Here she is with a grease high on our trip to North Carolina after eating hush puppies, ribs, fried corn on the cobb, and sweet potato fries: