If you checked out my last post on Measure OO, I got a reply and didn't notice it until now. So I figure I should expand on my stance of Measure OO and reply specifically to dooblgirl's comments that perpetuate some myths about OFCY funding an the Measure. (I hope you read this.)
1. First off, OFCY's after school programs in Oakland aren't always run by 20-something year olds. The ones that I site and know work are run by older folks (although I think age doesn't matter). They just LOOK young, which makes other people immediately biased and ageist. And, although some staff actually have 20-somethings running some of the programming, these are often the people that can connect with youth in a meaningful way and have the energy to keep up with them. They are key to successful youth programs. (Sure, not all programs are ideal, but OFCY has a review process and, if done correctly, can improve programs. And, schools, teachers, students and parents have a responsibility to give feedback to these programs if they are not working.)
2. Yes, there will be cuts and City Council will be responsible for making these cuts. We can't assume what they will be specifically so these signs that you see out there about Voting NO on Measure OO to stop cuts to Parks and Recreation and the Library are misleading. I think the City Council needs to do even some more housecleaning and figure out creative ways of making cuts and leverging more money. And as a sidenote: The Bookmobile and adult literacy programs still have funding even after last week's budget cuts.
What it comes down to is that I believe an investment in youth now at 2.5% of the budget, can, in the longterm, reduce expenses in other areas of the city. For once, can we vote for a larger vision for the city?? We need to invest in programs for teenagers and young twenty-somethings that are facing the worst of the violence in Oakland...And, with the state of OUSD we need programs to help all children and youth. Can we be proactive in creating opportunities for young people?
As an Oakland mama, I have to urge folks to vote Yes on Measure OO. I want the best for youth in Oakland. I hope to live in a city that makes youth a priority.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
mama praxis
Having been an ethnic studies student and immersed in some community organizing, I have always been surrounded by folks trying to get out of the Matrix. Good intentioned people, deconstructing the world, questioning capitalism/imperialism/neo-colonialism/colonialism/etc., trying to live their lives in congruency with their politics and values.
This goes along with Paulo Freire or bell hooks' idea of praxis. Praxis in its most simple sense is "action and reflection upon the world in order to change it." In essence folks are, for the most part, committed to thinking/challenging the world around them and living a life that aligns with the world they want to see.
What amazes me, and what we've talked about in my doula class, is how that praxis and reflection often gets lost when (some, not all) mama activists decide to have their babies. No longer do they question the system, the hospitals, the medications they choose to give birth with. Instead, they (we) handover something precious, their (our) voice and vision of how their (our) baby should come into the world. I think that there is a disconnect that needs bridging, especially for mamas of color.
Some statistics on birth:
* Statistics from the movie Born in the USA.
Learning. Growing. Healing.
This goes along with Paulo Freire or bell hooks' idea of praxis. Praxis in its most simple sense is "action and reflection upon the world in order to change it." In essence folks are, for the most part, committed to thinking/challenging the world around them and living a life that aligns with the world they want to see.
What amazes me, and what we've talked about in my doula class, is how that praxis and reflection often gets lost when (some, not all) mama activists decide to have their babies. No longer do they question the system, the hospitals, the medications they choose to give birth with. Instead, they (we) handover something precious, their (our) voice and vision of how their (our) baby should come into the world. I think that there is a disconnect that needs bridging, especially for mamas of color.
Some statistics on birth:
• Childbirth accounts for one fifth of all health care expenditures in the U.S.
• More than one out of every five babies (22%) is born by cesarean section. This number has not decreased substantially in 10 years, despite the benchmark of 15% set by the Centers for Disease Control in 1990.
• Well over half of all American births involve some kind of surgical or operative procedurecesarean section, episiotomy, vacuum extraction, or forceps.
• Between 1989 and 1997 the use of drugs to start labor (induce) or increase the strength or frequency of contractions (augment) doubled. Induction of labor is associated with an increase in cesarean sections.
• As a matter of course, almost all women under obstetrical care are required to fast during labor, although the data suggest that this practice is unnecessary and can actually make laboring and birth more difficult.
• The average prenatal appointment with an obstetrician lasts less than 10 minutes. With a home-birth midwife, the average prenatal appointment lasts 45-60 minutes.
• In 1999, midwives attended approximately 320,000 births (8% of all births) in hospitals, out-of-hospital birth centers, and private residences.
* Statistics from the movie Born in the USA.
Learning. Growing. Healing.
Lotus Bloom, free fun in Oak-town
Soluna and I had never been to Bushrod Park on 59th Street in Oakland. We had heard about Lotus Bloom from a Colorful Mamas friend and, since she said it was neat AND free, we decided to check it out.
Lotus Bloom is a non-profit organization that works out of four different community centers in Oakland and provides FREE play time Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday for babies (under 5) and their parents/caregivers. So we showed up. They signed us up. Soluna & I had a snack, crawled around, played with water toys, laughed at little kids, listened to story time, sang a few songs.
There were little kids with mohawks, unmatching kids (THE BEST!), grandmas and grandpas using their imagination, breastfeeding toddlers, mamas of color, babies giggling for no particular reason... It was cool, although Soluna was the youngest. We're looking forward to going back and checking out other little ones. Nice to know that there is another FREE resource for mamas trying to cut their expesnses during hard times.
Lotus Bloom is a non-profit organization that works out of four different community centers in Oakland and provides FREE play time Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday for babies (under 5) and their parents/caregivers. So we showed up. They signed us up. Soluna & I had a snack, crawled around, played with water toys, laughed at little kids, listened to story time, sang a few songs.
There were little kids with mohawks, unmatching kids (THE BEST!), grandmas and grandpas using their imagination, breastfeeding toddlers, mamas of color, babies giggling for no particular reason... It was cool, although Soluna was the youngest. We're looking forward to going back and checking out other little ones. Nice to know that there is another FREE resource for mamas trying to cut their expesnses during hard times.
new looks... old skool skills
Faithful readers. I hope you like my new banner. I forget that I still have some graphic design skills in my pocket that I should pull out and dust-off every once in a while. More changes to come... I'm hoping to get my own domain and contemplating moving to a different blog server.
Like I don't have enough other things to do.
Like I don't have enough other things to do.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
"Mmmmm... Mmmmmm... bad"
In looking for more baby food options, I learned that tofu was a great source of protein and very nutritious for babies! I was delighted the past few weeks feeding Soluna tofu. It's SO easy! She LOVES it. She feeds it to herself while saying "Mmmmm...Mmmm...MMmmm". Then, my trusted pre-natal/post-natal yoga intructor sent out this link: The Evidence Against Soy.
Research suggests that the risks associated with tofu outweigh the benefits. Tofu can lead to thyroid problems, cancer, premature puberty/developmental problems, cancer, brain damage, reproductive disorders kidney stones, weakened immune systems, food allergies... And while it seems like EVERYTHING is dangerous for us at this point, tofu seems just too risky for my little Soluna. The research might be right!
pay for play? first reactions to Studio Grow
My car is finally up and running. I took advantage of this because I don't know how long it will last! ... Soluna and I headed to Studio Grow in Berkeley yesterday!
In the past few weeks I decided I am going to start a business or at least get serious about the possibility... I'm thinking of doing some kind of mama/baby business (although Ben keeps insisting beer needs to be involved in some way). Soluna and I are doing our research and hitting up important spots of interest.
Studio Grow is kind of a baby/toddler play club. It's not a sports club, a play club. There are rooms for crawling babies, pretend-play, art, dance, sport-like equipment, a parent lounge, a dining room, etc. Each room offers something unique and stimulating for parents and babies. They also have daily activities like story-time, music and parachute play.
It's an interesting concept. Parents actually pay for themselves ($7/day) and for the baby ($7/day if older than 1 years old) to spend time here. PAY FOR PLAY! There are also monthly memberships. Three major reflection questions came to mind after our visit:
1. What happened to organic community formation? I mean, some of the draw for places like these is that you can go here and meet other moms and their babies. Are people not meeting folks at the grocery store or the playground anymore and inviting folks over to their home?
2. When and who decided it was fine to pay for this kind of stuff?? I am not familiar with this community of mamas who pay for this kind of stuff. I had never HEARD of places like this from family or friends. You have to be a pretty economically advantaged mama to justify the cost of this AND have the time to go here.
3. Where are my mamas of color at?? I don't think I saw one mama of color there, until I looked in the dancing room mirror. Maybe they were at work? Or maybe they have found other spaces.
With all that said. Studio Grow isn't a bad concept. I gotta be real... Soluna had fun here. She played with two other 9 month old babies, crawled all over the place, giggled at the staff and just enjoyed herself. She learned from watching. I don't know if I would consistently pay $7 or $14 for something like this, but I imagine that on some rainy gloomy days on the horizon, we may splurge a little and enjoy.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
let her cry?
After all this truth talk...
My suegra does this really annoying thing. She takes Soluna at every family party and usually gets her as far away from me as possible. I think her goal is to get her out of earshot of me, because when I hear her crying, I can't help but go to get her. I listen to Soluna and when she is unhappy, I don't ignore her because she doesn't have words and this is how she communicates. What do you teach babies when you ignore their cries??
Anyhow, Soluna CRIES and CRIES with my suegra. In the past, it was a piercing scream. I would definitely take her back. Why would I allow her to scream like that when she really just wants her mom or dad?
There have been two times when I feel like my suegra was blatantly disrespectful and rude to me or Ben:
There was one baptism at the park where it was kind of windy out. She had Soluna in a blanket and was walking her around (as Soluna cried, although I didn't know it at the time). She brought her somewhat close to me and I saw Soluna crying so I got up. And my suegra basically shot me this grandma look (her nose kinda goes up and it's one look that says you-don't-know-what-you're-doing and i-know-better at the same time) and stormed off with Soluna. I told Ben, not wanting to get in it with her. Eventually Soluna had a meltdown because she was being ignored and not with her mom or dad. My suegra gave her back to us and yelled at us (in front of a bunch of people) about how Soluna was cold and that was why she was crying. Soluna ended up crying inconsolably for over 10 minutes. We both knew it was because she had ignored her cries and insisted that she could take care of her and MAKE her comfortable with her.
The second time was when we were at my sister-in-law's house. Ben was holding Soluna and my mother-in-law carried her and, eventually, carried her away (like downstairs to another apartment where her mom and dad live). She didn't even tell us she was bringing her down there. I don't know how long Soluna was with her because I didn't even know Ben had lost sight of her. He eventually went down there looking and Soluna was crying and crying. His mom told him to just let her cry and gave him that look again. Of course, Benji grabbed her and brought her upstairs.
I think her logic is that we are enabling Soluna to cry like that and we're basicaly LETTING Soluna have a preference for us. She thinks we should ignore her so she can be okay with anyone. This, to me, is totally absurd. I want her to be comfortable with her grandparents, but I am not going to force her to be comfortable. Comfort will come with time, patience and love. I think that when babies cries are ignored they learn that their thoughts, preferences and feelings don't matter. To me, that's worse then having a baby that isn't comfortable with everyone!
Anyhow, I think my suegra is totally missing the mark. I am realizing that Soluna is getting better around lots of people... the people who give her back to me once she's uncomfortable. Instead Soluna is learning that her abeula is the woman who ignores her cries and takes her far away from her mom and dad. While Soluna has become more chill and comfortable with lots of other people, she is still very uncomfortable with my mother-in-law. But that's just my mama observation.
Anyhow, I feel awful right now. Because I'm trying to compromise a little bit and if Soluna is just a little uncomfortable I try to ignore her a bit when she is with her suegra. When I tried to take Soluna back when she was crying today, my suegra turned her arms and was basically like "no"... It can be really tiring to do this and I just feel awful at the end of the day. I mean, to let Soluna cry for no reason so that my suegra is happy?? Anyways, I think we need to finally have a "talk"... the one that I've been asking Ben to initiate for months.
My suegra does this really annoying thing. She takes Soluna at every family party and usually gets her as far away from me as possible. I think her goal is to get her out of earshot of me, because when I hear her crying, I can't help but go to get her. I listen to Soluna and when she is unhappy, I don't ignore her because she doesn't have words and this is how she communicates. What do you teach babies when you ignore their cries??
Anyhow, Soluna CRIES and CRIES with my suegra. In the past, it was a piercing scream. I would definitely take her back. Why would I allow her to scream like that when she really just wants her mom or dad?
There have been two times when I feel like my suegra was blatantly disrespectful and rude to me or Ben:
There was one baptism at the park where it was kind of windy out. She had Soluna in a blanket and was walking her around (as Soluna cried, although I didn't know it at the time). She brought her somewhat close to me and I saw Soluna crying so I got up. And my suegra basically shot me this grandma look (her nose kinda goes up and it's one look that says you-don't-know-what-you're-doing and i-know-better at the same time) and stormed off with Soluna. I told Ben, not wanting to get in it with her. Eventually Soluna had a meltdown because she was being ignored and not with her mom or dad. My suegra gave her back to us and yelled at us (in front of a bunch of people) about how Soluna was cold and that was why she was crying. Soluna ended up crying inconsolably for over 10 minutes. We both knew it was because she had ignored her cries and insisted that she could take care of her and MAKE her comfortable with her.
The second time was when we were at my sister-in-law's house. Ben was holding Soluna and my mother-in-law carried her and, eventually, carried her away (like downstairs to another apartment where her mom and dad live). She didn't even tell us she was bringing her down there. I don't know how long Soluna was with her because I didn't even know Ben had lost sight of her. He eventually went down there looking and Soluna was crying and crying. His mom told him to just let her cry and gave him that look again. Of course, Benji grabbed her and brought her upstairs.
I think her logic is that we are enabling Soluna to cry like that and we're basicaly LETTING Soluna have a preference for us. She thinks we should ignore her so she can be okay with anyone. This, to me, is totally absurd. I want her to be comfortable with her grandparents, but I am not going to force her to be comfortable. Comfort will come with time, patience and love. I think that when babies cries are ignored they learn that their thoughts, preferences and feelings don't matter. To me, that's worse then having a baby that isn't comfortable with everyone!
Anyhow, I think my suegra is totally missing the mark. I am realizing that Soluna is getting better around lots of people... the people who give her back to me once she's uncomfortable. Instead Soluna is learning that her abeula is the woman who ignores her cries and takes her far away from her mom and dad. While Soluna has become more chill and comfortable with lots of other people, she is still very uncomfortable with my mother-in-law. But that's just my mama observation.
Anyhow, I feel awful right now. Because I'm trying to compromise a little bit and if Soluna is just a little uncomfortable I try to ignore her a bit when she is with her suegra. When I tried to take Soluna back when she was crying today, my suegra turned her arms and was basically like "no"... It can be really tiring to do this and I just feel awful at the end of the day. I mean, to let Soluna cry for no reason so that my suegra is happy?? Anyways, I think we need to finally have a "talk"... the one that I've been asking Ben to initiate for months.
write the truth ... speak the truth
I had initially created my blog for myself. Then I sent the link to my closest friends (and left it in un-chartered internet space). It had been a place for me to share, often vent, all the crazy things that had been happening and all the raw emotions I had been feeling after giving birth. It was healing space. And it was personal. It is interesting what you can put up for the whole world to see (if they can find it), but you wouldn’t want your mom to read… or anyone else very close to you. Sometimes my blog has to do with family members, usually grandparents. Because, grandparents can play an interesting role as they begin to “claim” their grandchildren and your wishes become less of a priority or a non-priority and their ideas of how children should be raised come into play.
A few weeks after getting my blog started, maybe even days after I started my blog, Ben asked if it would be okay to add my blog to his email signature. Ben's reason for sharing my blog was that he liked my writing and thought it should be shared for other mamas. Without thinking it through, I agreed. Shorty after, I added my blog to my Gmail chat away message. I didn’t realize the ramifications of such actions. And then my readership expanded. I know, because I pasted in a Google Analytics counter that can tell me how many people look at my page and where they come from. Then I realized my readership included my sister-in-laws, some old co-workers, some random mamas that I met after Soluna was born… and my writing started to change. I started to be careful about my words, about who I was talking about, about where I was going with things. And my blog stopped being as raw, as healing or as needed for me.
Anyhow, all this pre-writing ... I am challenging myself, regardless of who is reading, to write the raw truth and to move forward as a mama because of how I truly feel. This isn't just truth for truth's sake. I have been passive-agressive about some things as a mama and it's about time that I come out and say things (beyond just this blog) so that this blog isn't just to vent, but to do and to heal. Me, a mama learning as she goes...
A few weeks after getting my blog started, maybe even days after I started my blog, Ben asked if it would be okay to add my blog to his email signature. Ben's reason for sharing my blog was that he liked my writing and thought it should be shared for other mamas. Without thinking it through, I agreed. Shorty after, I added my blog to my Gmail chat away message. I didn’t realize the ramifications of such actions. And then my readership expanded. I know, because I pasted in a Google Analytics counter that can tell me how many people look at my page and where they come from. Then I realized my readership included my sister-in-laws, some old co-workers, some random mamas that I met after Soluna was born… and my writing started to change. I started to be careful about my words, about who I was talking about, about where I was going with things. And my blog stopped being as raw, as healing or as needed for me.
Anyhow, all this pre-writing ... I am challenging myself, regardless of who is reading, to write the raw truth and to move forward as a mama because of how I truly feel. This isn't just truth for truth's sake. I have been passive-agressive about some things as a mama and it's about time that I come out and say things (beyond just this blog) so that this blog isn't just to vent, but to do and to heal. Me, a mama learning as she goes...
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