beautiful windy day

Soluna was baptized yesterday and although I should be totally exhausted and asleep, I woke up two hours ago and have not been able to go back to sleep. So many thoughts are running through my mind. It was a beautiful baptism. I love Father Jason from St. Columba Church. He is a smiley, funny guy who makes everyone feel welcome. I thought it was nice that folks were actually able to speak and talk about the gifts they want to give Soluna: a love of family, confidence in herself, a curiosity for the world, ambition, perseverance, a connection to community, spirituality, passion and compassion. All the things I want for her, I didn't need to say anything. Ben held her as she was being blessed by water. I couldn't squat in my dress to hold her myself. =( But she didn't cry and I got a perfect view of everything. I told myself at that moment to hold that memory, that picture, forever. I almost cried.

Following the ceremony, we had a big party at the park. Dude, I suck at throwing parties. I feel like I am running around with my head chopped off. I think I just feel like I have 100 things to do and maybe it's partly just perception, but it keeps me going and going and going. I realized that after being at the park for, I think, about 4-5 hours I had only eaten 3 tacos and drank 2 small cups of pineapple juice. I drank no water and although there was hella food I just had 3 tacos.

Poor little Soluna was being passed around and around. This is really hard for me and her. Sometimes she is perfectly chill and I am happy to get a break. (Thanks Diana and Lali for dancing with her and pushing her around in the car until she had to share). Other times she just does NOT want to be held by other folks and everyone is trying to grab at her (today it was mostly my aunties). Mamas just KNOW when their babies have had enough. But there was constant pressure to pass her off and sometimes I just let folks know that I needed to change her, feed her, take a picture with her, etc. But other times they were like "give her to me" every 5-30 minutes and I am left to come up with an excuse or if I do give in then, usually, within 5-10 minutes the wind would carry her cries to my ear and I have to grab her back. Sometimes, I'd hear comments here and there about "Why is she crying?" "She doesn't like other people?" "It's going to be hard if she just likes you." ... Dude, she's had a long day and it's windy out.

I don't know where people began to think that it would be the norm for babies to be passed around happily and giggling from person to person. If any adult had to be passed around and stimulated over and over by different people, they would probably cry too. Babies aren't dolls! And, Soluna has her own opinions about things and she'll voice her opinion until she gets what she wants! And, I don't think I should feel bad that she wants her mama. (Anyhow, I digress.)

We came home and, since we didn't take any leftovers, I had to order food from Can't Fail. I asked for a bacon cheeseburger, fries and a shake and nearly stuffed it all down in 10 minutes. And, while I was waiting for Ben to pick up the food I had a HUGE mango and drank the equivalent of 3 bottles of water.

Benji and I did our plus/delta evaluation of the day and I now know why a pizza parlor baptism/birthday seems like a great choice for parents. I am definitely convinced that we are going to have a nice, intimate gathering for Soluna's first birthday. And by intimate, I mean no more than 50 people. Hahaha.

Overall, it was a nice day. I was gratful for all the help from Soluna's new nina, nino, ninang and ninong! And also grateful for all our families have done to help us out. We are very blessed. And Soluna's new life has begun with great blessings and hope for the future.

On this day our little Soluna joins the ocean of life...

Let the water remind us of the waves she may
encounter or create.

Help us to prepare her for the ebb and flow of
life's ever-changing seas.

Teach her to decide when it is wise to float with
the current or swim against the tide.

And lead her to that deep pool of faith, hope, and
love within her own heart.

** A poem from: Baby Blessings

ask a mexican

Benji and I went to go see the writer of "Ask a Mexican" in Berkeley last year when I was super pregnant. This is one of his newest columns in the OC Weekly. I wanted to share.

Why do Mexican parents insist on wrapping their newborn babies in a dozen cobijas in 90-degree heat?
El Chamuco

Dear Demon: Everything is wrapped for Mexicans. Our tamales. Our food inside a tortilla. Ourselves around someone else as we prepare for a cramped trunk ride across the border. Babies get the burrito treatment to protect them from the elements, to transform into a shape better-suited for lugging around, and to ensure the proper crisp their skin needs to achieve that wonderful Mexican mocha-brown.

You can laugh or get mad... whatever you like. We haven't been the best about remembering Soluna's blanket, especially in the summertime. As Benji commented, this may account for her fair skin. heh.

decolonize our breasts: breastmilk vs. formula in the Philippines

For my doula class I have to write a final paper on a topic that interests me: "extended" breastfeeding. I'm already trying to figure out a new term for breastfeeding beyond the age of one because the term extended breatfeeding makes people think that you're going beyond a norm when I think it should be the norm.

Part of my research is to look into breastfeeding practices in the Philippines and I found some interesting statistics on the UNICEF website:

* Out of almost 7 million children (below 5 years old), 87% were ever breastfed. This figure however includes infants whose breastfeeding may have lasted for only one hour, one day, or one week only.

* In fact, nearly 3.4 million children (49%) were given liquid or food other than breastmilk within three days after being born.

* For children below 3 years old at the time of the survey, barely 6% were exclusively breastfed. Bottlefeeding was common for almost half of these children.

* Although 80% of children started breastfeeding within 1 day of birth, 54% were also given any liquid other than breast milk.

* Exclusive breastfeeding lasts only for an average of 24 days.

This is totally different from my original assumptions. I actually thought that breastfeeding WAS the norm in the Philippines and became less common for women who immigrated to the United States.

There has been an ongoing campaign in the Philippines to make breastfeeding more popular. In 2006 the City of Manila, Children for Breastfeeding (an organization that promotes family support for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers) and the Department of Health, with support from UNICEF organized an event where almost 4,000 mothers in the Philippines set a new world record for simultaneous breast-feeding.

Beyond the promotional event, there has also been organizing done to limit the advertisements of formula companies. Nestle, Mead Johnson, Abbot and other milk powder companies spend nearly US$90 million per year in the Philippines on advertising and end up with a sales revenue of around US$470 million. While the Philippines has a National Milk Code that limits the advertisement, promotion or marketing for breast milk substitutes intended particularly in medical offices and by health practicioners, formula companies have been working to challenge the code in court and many health offices are out of compliance. (Yes, one more reason to boycott Nestle!)

Check out this documentary "Formula for Disaster" about how misinformation of breastfeeding and agressive advertising has led to a decline in breastfeding, health problems for babies and an unneeded economic burden for families in the Philippines.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

All I gotta say is: F*ck Capitalism. Decolonize your boobies and give babies milk! I need to figure out a new FilsGlobe Chant for breastmilk. Any thoughts?

Seriously though, breastfeeding gives babies the healthiest start in life. Why give in to the cultural or marketing pressure to give them less AND pay for it??!

dear blog,

I haven't written because I've been picking-up the pace. I've juggled work, school, home-life and community stuff since I was in college. Tried to keep my calendar full. Moved from one spot to the other every year. But, after having Soluna I knew I needed to slow down. To take a breath. To find myself again, and define myself. And after the rest, I came to a point where what I really needed was movement and activity to figure things out, to heal, to shape who I am as a mama.

So now, I'm ... taking care of Soluna, in a mamas group (sometimes 2), visiting family, working part-time, learning to cook better, cleaning up more around the house (decluttering), re-connecting with friends, studying to be a doula and planning for Soluna's baptism. On the periphery, I'm wondering about my next steps, my next career moves, my next educational moves, and my attempts to re-connect with community (who is my community now?). It seems like just the right time to make some major moves. I mean, I already took the big one: quit my cushy city job.

Soluna has been making moves of her own. She is an expert sitter, scooting unexpectedly in every direction, but not quite intentionally. I am anxious for her to full out crawl and reminding myself that babies do things at their own pace. She is SO there: on her hands and knees, lunging forward, but not quite moving. We've coaxed her with food, toys, and cheers. She'll probably do it when we're not looking. She has also learned, from cousin Cheo, the art of squealing. Nice. And she has become a clapper, and on some occasions a waver. I can't forget to mention that she has one chomper in sight, her top front right tooth.

Is the year going by fast or slow? I can't tell.

Peace.

Mama Aya

little mama

I just had to share these pictures of my little Soluna! She has been super giggly this week.

i have a new husband!!

become a doula?

For the past three months I've been taking a weekend doula class. I've talked very very very little about it to anyone other than my husband. I'm not sure why. So now I'm going to officially speak on it, blog-style, because I need to start talking to y'all about this so that I can figure out if it's right for me.

A few months ago, I was in a space where I felt the urgency to re-adjust my career path. While I value the work that I was doing developing the leadership and civic engagement skills of Oakland youth, Soluna's birth really brought to light the need to find my real life purpose. I was also hoping to have a little more employment flexibility so that I could take care of her myself. At the time, I was thinking about going back to grad school to possibly become a nurse-midwife or get an MBA (with hopes of doing work in socially-responsible businesses or to start a business). Okay, totally different choices, but that's where I was at. I felt my life could go in either direction.

After reconnecting with an old UC Davis friend (after not hearing from her for over a year, I just felt like I HAD to call her), I learned that she was studying to be a midwife. I didn't even know that she was in that line of work and apparently she was a doula for several years before beginning the midwife apprenticeship. I told her about my interest and she highly recommended the doula class I am currently taking that is specifically for women of color. I felt like I had to at least try it out, believing that things always happen for a reason and there was a reason why I needed to connect with her.

For those that don't know, doulas are experienced labor companions that provide the woman and her partner emotional and phsical support throught the entire labor, delivery and postpartum experience. Doula is a Greek word meaning "woman caregiver."

The class has been such an amazing, humbling and emotional experience. I have never been surrounded by such beautiful, strong, grounded and spiritual mamas/women. And while I am still deciding whether or not this is the direction I want to go in, I know that this class was necessary for my growth as a person. I have begun to ask myself the most important questions: Who am I as a mama? What am I doing to make the world a better place? What do I believe in in terms of religion and spirituality? How do I ground myself emotionally and spiritually? How do I heal myself as a mother and woman? What would I rather do than support women through this beautiful rite of passage? What is more important than helping mamas give their babies a right start in life?

Too Posh to Push?

When Soluna, Benji and I went to a wedding a few weeks ago we ran into an old friend from college. One of her first questions was: "Did you have a c-section?"

I was like, "No, but that's a strange question. Why do you ask?"

She went on to tell us that most of her friends in San Jose have ended up with c-sections or actually planned to have c-sections so that they could have a tummy tuck at the same time. It's called a C-tuck!

So after watching "The Business of Being Born" and seeing a small segment of Hollywood stars pictures infering that they had planned c-sections I had to look up more information on how these women chose to bring their babies into the world. And, I found out that the following women planned their c-sections:

Angelina Jolie
Victoria Beckham
Madonna
Kelly Ripa
Claudia Schiffer
Kate Hudson
Britney Spears

Can you imagine?!? No longer is birth a rite of passage, birth is an operation tied to plastic surgery!