Since the beginning of December, I have been juggling two jobs, working over 40 hours a week from home, while taking care of Soluna almost full-time. To say the least, I am exhausted.
Last night, Ben decided to take Soluna to a Super Bowl party so she could hang with her cousin Cheo. I had a rare opportunity to just chat and do arts and crafts with some friends celebrating their birthdays. All was good and fun, until I headed home and Ben said Soluna was near a meltdown. By the time I got home she was fast asleep, but Ben still looked a little distraught. She had been crying inconsolably for at least half an hour.
She woke up screaming an hour later. On all other days I just climb into bed with her, breastfeed and she gets lulled back to sleep. Last night was the total opposite. She basically screamed with her face all red and reached out for her papi. While I am happy that she is connecting with him more, it made me a little sad. She was mad at me in the only way a baby can be mad. She leaned on her papi in comfort and stared at me, distant. Earlier, I wasn't there when she needed me. Eventually, he passed her to me and I snuggled in bed with her and breastfed. She fell asleep and lay peaceful in my arms.
I have been so busy lately. Even though I spend time with her we are running from place to place. It's time to relax a little more and plan a little better. Luckily, one of my part-time jobs is just seasonal and is over in about a week. I don't know how full-time mamas can do it. I can't imagine going back to full-time work at this point. I wonder when it'll feel right or if it will ever.
I can't give enough praise to the amazing mamas that work long hours to come home to care for their families and maintain such a strong bond with their children.
3 comments:
i know--my praises go out to working mamas who seem to be able to juggle it all.
hey, i didn't know you were a big crafster. me too. i'm almost embarrassed to tell you the number of crafting blogs I read. i haven't had much time to do much sewing lately but my "to do" list is definitely building up.
hip mama crafters of color unite!
i love crafts... knitting, sewing, crocheting... i'm not great at any, but can do the basics. i bought fabric recently to make Soluna little fits. i'm a little confused about one of the patterns, could you help me? ... it's been hard for me to have ANY time for this kind of stuff though...
I haven't looked at your blog for a little while so I know this is not timely...but I just wanted to say keep up the good work! You are a wonderful mom and it is, in my opinion, much harder to work from home while also doing all your mommy duties than to go to work all day or be a full time mom without the outside work. I've been in all three situations and definitely the work-from-home-mommy job is the toughest. Hopefully by now your schedule is a little lighter - yikes! But we mamas have to do what we mamas have to do, right?
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