pac-girl!

I wanted to share this recent picture of me and little Luna. We are ready for the Pacquiao vs. De La Hoya fight. Note: Check her little homemade pac-girl shirt made an hour earlier.

I didn't want her to feel conflicted as a little Mexipino so I chose her side for her. Luckily, it was the side of the CHAMP! I'm looking forward to collecting my winnings from my husband.

Was that really a fight?

Thanks for the pic Armael.

My Baby's Not for Show

Soluna is a dancer. It started out with a few leg kicks anytime my dad put on Louie Armstrong's "A Kiss to Build a Dream On." Like I wrote earlier, since she was 2 months old Soluna has had mama separation anxiety. She cried and cried and cried when I wasn't there and my parents or Ben's parents would try a million things to get her to relax. But usually, she just cried herself to sleep... until my Dad found a secret weapon: his MP3 player. When he played it for the first time, he thought she was having spasms, because she quieted down immediately and started kicking her legs.

For Mother's Day I asked for an iPod with speakers so that she could use it. And let me tell you... she LOVES music now. Anytime she hears a song she likes she is rocking, shaking her shoulder, throwing her hands in the air and every few days she has a new move thrown into the mix. It is the most beautiful sight to see and makes anyone around put a big smile on their face and usually gets them dancing too.

But there is one thing that we do not want to do as parents (even though we are tempted to now and then so others can smile to). We do NOT want to be those parents that are constantly asking, encouraging, pleading with their kids to perform in front of others. I think that's a recipe for disaster, for passions lost over parents needs to show-off. Usually that's way later, but I bet those kinds of things start when children are just babies. There is something so innocent and beautiful about her dancing that I want to protect it. I don't want to be that parent asking her to "Dance. Dance. Dance." when there is no music on just to show her off or make her into the baby-puppet.

My hope is that Soluna continues to love music and dancing. I hope that she has fun doing it because she loves how it feels and not because we ask her to or because she has made it a priority to impress or entertain other people. I do hope there are opportunities for folks to see her love of dancing, but I'm not going to push her out there for show. You better play some music and start dancing yourself first!

Filipino Arroz Caldo for the family and the baby!

Feeding Soluna food that is healthy and makes her do the yummy-dance while saying "Mmmmmm ... Mmmmm ... Mmmmm" has been one of my greatest challenges as a new mama. The past few months there has been one recipe that has almost always led to the aforementioned positive feedback from our little 11.5 month old. I'd like to share it with y'all because f'real... where can you find ethnic recipes for babies online?!?

Aya's Arroz Caldo Recipe for the Family and the Baby
3 tablespoons of olive oil
2 tablespoons of garlic
2 1-inch slices of ginger
1 diced onion
1.5 cups of uncooked white rice (although you can experiment with brown rice)
10 cups of water
3 lbs of chicken (I prefer breast or drumstick, but you can choose what you want)
Patis or Filipino fish sauce
black pepper
1 chopped green onion
For extra veggies in babies food:
brocolli, carrots, cauliflower - I use a bag of veggies from Trader Joe's
water

Arroz Caldo directions:
In a large pot heat the olive oil. Lightly brown the garlic. Then add in the ginger and onion. Saute until the onion is translucent. Add the rice and saute for a few minutes. Add the water and bring to boil. Reduce the temperature and then add the chicken. Cook for 30 minutes. Add a small amount of patis for taste and a dash of black pepper. *** Set-aside what is for your baby! *** After the set-aside, you may want to add the rest of the patis and much more black pepper until you feel it tastes "right." Serve immediately and garnish bowl with green onion.

Baby's Arroz Caldo directions:
In a very small pot put a few pieces of brocolli, carrots, and cauliflower in about an inch of water. Cover the pot and cook for 10 minutes. When you are done cooking, mash up all the veggies or slice into small pieces depending on the texture your baby is eating at the time. Add as much of this mix into your Arroz Caldo set-aside as you want! Pull apart pieces of the chicken and add to the Arroz Caldo.

There you have it! YUM! Veggies, rice and chicken!

why kids? why now?

A friend of mine asked me a few months back if we could have a discussion on "Why kids? Why now?" He's a fresh youth organizer here in Oakland in a long-term co-habitative relationship, almost 30, and is kind of feeling out this topic.

At the time, it was shortly after Soluna was born and all my mama emotions were on high. I told him the truth. At the time we decided to take a "wait and see"-attitude about pregnancy, we just felt that it could be the right time, that we could be ready to be parents. We were not trying to not be parents. We did very little research. We had no long, drawn out conversations. It just felt right. We left it to fate. And in three months, we were pregnant.

Since my friend asked me this question I've thought about "Why kids? Why now?" a ton. For the most part my friends are nowhere near having kids. And in the past months, I have thought for a minute... Am I missing out on something? Are my parents right and "have kids, and your life is over!"?

Holding Soluna, listening to her giggle and laugh, I know that all these questions seem simple and easy to me in retrospect of actually having a baby.

WHY KIDS? They bring you joy. They make you learn and grow.

WHY NOW? Why not? There will always be advantages and disadvantages of having kids at different ages. When it feels right.. go for it and make it work.

AM I MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING? Probably something, but folks not having kids are missing something too.

IS LIFE OVER? Hell no. That's old school thinking. So much more of life is ahead.

Of course, none of these questions can be answered so easily without having your baby in your arms. Having a baby is always a leap of faith. There is no universal formula for when you should have a baby, why you should have a baby, how much you should be making, how educated you should be, what kind of relationship you should be in... that would be too easy.

At mama/baby yoga classes and at mainstream mama/baby spots in Berkeley and Oakland, I am usually one of the "young" mamas. YES in some communities a 28 year old - almost 29 year old - woman is a young mama. In Ben's family, I seem to be the older first-time mama. It's all good. It's all different.

Now seemed just right for. I've lived enough to know how to take care of myself and live alone, how to handle my finances and pay my bills. I've lived enough to not yearn for time away, time to lose control, time to be selfish. I've travelled alone and with friends, had my mini-adventures and took a lot of pictures to remember. I have gone out all night dancing, drinking, listening to good music... And when it comes down to it I don't feel like I need to escape motherhood. I am more interested in experiencing things with Soluna, taking her to community events, to the mall, to listen to music, to play at the park. And that brings me joy and new adventures.

Once it happens, there is no going back to ponder such questions with regret. Maybe my response is sprinkled with that optimism, but it's my reality and truth as a mama.

Soluna is 11 months old!


What strikes me after re-reading my post is that I have skipped over some much needed critique about some mainstream ideas about when is the right time to have kids. I'll be getting to that later.

the great pretender!

Now that little Ms. Soluna is over 18lbs and 10 months old, she has even more tricks up her sleeve.

1. The Incredible Hulk: The past few weeks Soluna has been doing this thing where she tenses up, squints her eyes and clenches her fists. It's kinda her angry powerful look and she does it whenever anybody does the look to her. It's so cute and weird. We love it.

2. *Cough*Cough*: Soluna has been fighting off a few little colds here and there. Once she had a little cough. And everytime she coughs I look at her immediately with a look of concern and I think she noticed. So every once in awhile now, she fakes a little cough and smiles at me.

3. Sharing is Caring: So why not share? Soluna has been feeding herself for a while, but now she is into feeding others too.

4. Bah-bye: With a wave she sometimes says "Bah-bye!"

My little one is growing up! She is scooting everwhere, pulling herself up to standing, almost cruising, dancing to music, laughing during hide-and-go-seek, playing with her cousins... changes changes. time flies.

YES! I am still voting YES ON MEASURE OO

If you checked out my last post on Measure OO, I got a reply and didn't notice it until now. So I figure I should expand on my stance of Measure OO and reply specifically to dooblgirl's comments that perpetuate some myths about OFCY funding an the Measure. (I hope you read this.)

1. First off, OFCY's after school programs in Oakland aren't always run by 20-something year olds. The ones that I site and know work are run by older folks (although I think age doesn't matter). They just LOOK young, which makes other people immediately biased and ageist. And, although some staff actually have 20-somethings running some of the programming, these are often the people that can connect with youth in a meaningful way and have the energy to keep up with them. They are key to successful youth programs. (Sure, not all programs are ideal, but OFCY has a review process and, if done correctly, can improve programs. And, schools, teachers, students and parents have a responsibility to give feedback to these programs if they are not working.)

2. Yes, there will be cuts and City Council will be responsible for making these cuts. We can't assume what they will be specifically so these signs that you see out there about Voting NO on Measure OO to stop cuts to Parks and Recreation and the Library are misleading. I think the City Council needs to do even some more housecleaning and figure out creative ways of making cuts and leverging more money. And as a sidenote: The Bookmobile and adult literacy programs still have funding even after last week's budget cuts.

What it comes down to is that I believe an investment in youth now at 2.5% of the budget, can, in the longterm, reduce expenses in other areas of the city. For once, can we vote for a larger vision for the city?? We need to invest in programs for teenagers and young twenty-somethings that are facing the worst of the violence in Oakland...And, with the state of OUSD we need programs to help all children and youth. Can we be proactive in creating opportunities for young people?

As an Oakland mama, I have to urge folks to vote Yes on Measure OO. I want the best for youth in Oakland. I hope to live in a city that makes youth a priority.

mama praxis

Having been an ethnic studies student and immersed in some community organizing, I have always been surrounded by folks trying to get out of the Matrix. Good intentioned people, deconstructing the world, questioning capitalism/imperialism/neo-colonialism/colonialism/etc., trying to live their lives in congruency with their politics and values.

This goes along with Paulo Freire or bell hooks' idea of praxis. Praxis in its most simple sense is "action and reflection upon the world in order to change it." In essence folks are, for the most part, committed to thinking/challenging the world around them and living a life that aligns with the world they want to see.

What amazes me, and what we've talked about in my doula class, is how that praxis and reflection often gets lost when (some, not all) mama activists decide to have their babies. No longer do they question the system, the hospitals, the medications they choose to give birth with. Instead, they (we) handover something precious, their (our) voice and vision of how their (our) baby should come into the world. I think that there is a disconnect that needs bridging, especially for mamas of color.

Some statistics on birth:

• Childbirth accounts for one fifth of all health care expenditures in the U.S.

• More than one out of every five babies (22%) is born by cesarean section. This number has not decreased substantially in 10 years, despite the benchmark of 15% set by the Centers for Disease Control in 1990.

• Well over half of all American births involve some kind of surgical or operative procedurecesarean section, episiotomy, vacuum extraction, or forceps.

• Between 1989 and 1997 the use of drugs to start labor (induce) or increase the strength or frequency of contractions (augment) doubled. Induction of labor is associated with an increase in cesarean sections.

• As a matter of course, almost all women under obstetrical care are required to fast during labor, although the data suggest that this practice is unnecessary and can actually make laboring and birth more difficult.

• The average prenatal appointment with an obstetrician lasts less than 10 minutes. With a home-birth midwife, the average prenatal appointment lasts 45-60 minutes.

• In 1999, midwives attended approximately 320,000 births (8% of all births) in hospitals, out-of-hospital birth centers, and private residences.

* Statistics from the movie Born in the USA.

Learning. Growing. Healing.

Lotus Bloom, free fun in Oak-town

Soluna and I had never been to Bushrod Park on 59th Street in Oakland. We had heard about Lotus Bloom from a Colorful Mamas friend and, since she said it was neat AND free, we decided to check it out.

Lotus Bloom is a non-profit organization that works out of four different community centers in Oakland and provides FREE play time Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday for babies (under 5) and their parents/caregivers. So we showed up. They signed us up. Soluna & I had a snack, crawled around, played with water toys, laughed at little kids, listened to story time, sang a few songs.

There were little kids with mohawks, unmatching kids (THE BEST!), grandmas and grandpas using their imagination, breastfeeding toddlers, mamas of color, babies giggling for no particular reason... It was cool, although Soluna was the youngest. We're looking forward to going back and checking out other little ones. Nice to know that there is another FREE resource for mamas trying to cut their expesnses during hard times.

new looks... old skool skills

Faithful readers. I hope you like my new banner. I forget that I still have some graphic design skills in my pocket that I should pull out and dust-off every once in a while. More changes to come... I'm hoping to get my own domain and contemplating moving to a different blog server.

Like I don't have enough other things to do.

"Mmmmm... Mmmmmm... bad"

In looking for more baby food options, I learned that tofu was a great source of protein and very nutritious for babies! I was delighted the past few weeks feeding Soluna tofu. It's SO easy! She LOVES it. She feeds it to herself while saying "Mmmmm...Mmmm...MMmmm". Then, my trusted pre-natal/post-natal yoga intructor sent out this link: The Evidence Against Soy.

Research suggests that the risks associated with tofu outweigh the benefits. Tofu can lead to thyroid problems, cancer, premature puberty/developmental problems, cancer, brain damage, reproductive disorders kidney stones, weakened immune systems, food allergies... And while it seems like EVERYTHING is dangerous for us at this point, tofu seems just too risky for my little Soluna. The research might be right!