breastfeeding ain't easy...

I heart breastfeeding. It wasn't always this way. Before Soluna’s birth day, I had taken a breastfeeding class with Kaiser, read through all the paperwork and read all the information provided to me in various baby books. But when Soluna was finally in my arms, I was at a loss of what to do. The nurses tried to prepare me before I left the hospital. I had flat nipples that became sore nipples and then bleeding nipples. I got thrush and plugged ducts. And, throughout the whole process, after each feeding for the first 2 months or so, I seemed to get an unexplained, undiagnosed pain that shot through both breasts.

I bought The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League, scoured the internet, attended a La Leche Meeting (where I was surprised to find no Latino women), and I went in to see a Kaiser Lactation Consultant about 6-7 times. Luckily, I had the will to continue and, unfortunately, became a self-proclaimed nipple martyr before I got a hang of things. All of this, I know now, was probably unnecessary. I lacked the proper education and support to prepare me to breastfeed correctly.

After 6 months of breastfeeding, when I hear of mamas who are having trouble breastfeeding, I want to offer some advice and support in all ways that I can. Because once you get a hang of things, looking down at your baby as they drink from your breast is so beautiful. Those days when Soluna looks up at me and smiles as she drinks, I know I have done something good. Here are my top 10 pointers on making breastfeeding work:

#1: The first 6 weeks: breastfeed! breastfeed! breastfeed. Breastfeed on cue, meaning whenever your baby shows signs of hunger and know in advance that this might mean your baby is at your breast 12+ hours a day. Your babies sucking will trigger the production of milk and the awakening of milk producing glands. The more your baby sucks, the more milk you make. The first 6 weeks will establish your ability to have enough milk for the long term.

#2: For at least 6 weeks: Keep the bottles away & keep the pacifier away! Bottles and pacifiers can lead to nipple confusion. Ouch. You want your baby to know how to latch on properly. The use of pacifiers might fool your baby into eating less than he/she needs because he/she may get most sucking needs satisfied in another way.

#3: Keep the formula a way! Mamas always seem to worry that their baby is not getting enough milk, especially when you can't see the amount that they eat. It can be a quick relief to see a baby gobble up a certain number of ounces of formula from the bottle. If you skip a feeding and give formula instead, you are telling your body you need less feedings and your body will respond by producing less milk. Therefore, even if you were producing enough milk, giving formula because you thought you weren't may actually cause the problem you were worried about.... Does that make sense?

#4: Seek expert support! Ask your lactation consultant, midwife or doula to help you if there are any problems. If you are in any pain, don't keep it to yourself. Fix the problem as soon as possible.

#5: Learn your baby's cues and trust yourself. You have incredible mama hormones that will make you more sensitive to your babies needs. Trust your heart and learn your baby. Most babies make very obvious cues when they are hungry: clicking their tongue, opening and closing their mouth, bringing their hands to their mouth. Feed them when they show these early signs of hunger and do not wait until they are crying. It can be more difficult to get your baby to latch properly if they are anxious. Babies will also tell you when they are done eating by delatching or falling aleep and letting the nipple fall out of their mouth.

#6: Know that breastfeeding is not just about feeding your baby, but comforting and socializing with him/her. Enjoy this time with you baby! Babies may cue to you that they are hungry right after they eat. You may think, "She/He's not hungry! I just fed him/her!" Or you might worry that he/she didn't get enough milk. In actuality, the baby might not be hungry, but they are cueing to let you know that they want you and they want to be in your arms. Babies have sucking needs. Do not worry about over-eating. Breastfed babies cannot over-eat and they will change their style of sucking for comfort, for eating or for getting mamas breasts to let-down milk.

#7: Get through the first 6 weeks! Do all you can to get past the sore nipples or early problems. By 6 weeks, you'll probably be lifting your shirt, unclipping your bra and having the baby latch in record time.

#8: Prepare! Prepare! Prepare! Read-up on breastfeeding, take a class and get all breastfeeding supplies before you have your baby. You will need some breastfeeding bras, breast pads and clothes that allow for easy booby access.

#9: Do not listen to moms who had their babies in the 70s or 80s, especially if they were unsuccessful breastfeeding or didn't breastfeed for longer than 6 months. You can get all kinds of wrong information. This is from my experience with my mother-in-law and mom. At the time when they had their kids, formula was just becoming popular and they were fed with so much misinformation on how to properly breastfeed.

#10: Get some support!! Make sure that your husband/partner/friend are there to help you in the early weeks. They can bring you drinks, extra food, a magazine to read, or chat with you while you breastfeed!

BONUS: Don't forget to eat... a lot & well!!

to pacify or not to pacify?

"Where is her chupon?" My suegra would ask whenever we brought Soluna over. Whether to use or not use a pacifier was one of the most "controversial" baby decisions my husband and I made and it seemed to constantly come up when we visited his parents. We decided not to give Soluna the pacifier for several reasons:

#1: An early introduction to the pacifier could cause nipple confusion. Ouch! And, if Soluna had all her sucking needs satisfied with a pacifier, it could have led to low/no milk production.

#2: We thought: Do you really want your child sucking on a piece of rubber? Or, would you rather comfort her in your arms and at at your breast?

#3: We believe that baby cries are forms of communication. (This is from the Sears' attachment parenting beliefs that I will discuss in a later post.) We wanted her to keep trying to communicate with us and we wanted to keep trying to understand her. We didn't just want to "shut her up" as quick as possible.

We did waver in our stance twice. Once, Soluna was up for hours crying and crying. My nipples were sore and we were exhausted. We gave her the pacifier and she fell alseep after a little while. The second time, we gave in to parental pressures and, thinking that I was going back to work soon, we realized she actually may need to satisfy her sucking needs when I wasn't around. We tried to offer her the pacifier and she continued to push it out of her mouth with her tongue or just let it fall out.

Let me tell you though, we do have a little bit of a whiny baby. She tells you right away if she is uncomfortable, if she is hungry, if she is bored or if she wants to be carried by mom or dad. I am happy that she knows her whines and cries will be heard. This is not to say that I now jump up at her every whimper, but I do listen to her... and hope that in the long term this teaches her something more important. I truly believe that a quiet baby is not necessarily a happy baby. He/she just might be a baby that has learned that his/her communication and wishes are not listened to or important.

The other day Benji tried to cut her nails while I was breastfeeding. What?! She gave him a stern growl and shot him a look of anger. For some parents this would have led to some crazy power struggle. Instead, we knew exactly what she wanted... to eat in peace. Doesn't everybody want this? And she let me cut her nails the next morning, with no problems.