breastfeeding ain't easy...

I heart breastfeeding. It wasn't always this way. Before Soluna’s birth day, I had taken a breastfeeding class with Kaiser, read through all the paperwork and read all the information provided to me in various baby books. But when Soluna was finally in my arms, I was at a loss of what to do. The nurses tried to prepare me before I left the hospital. I had flat nipples that became sore nipples and then bleeding nipples. I got thrush and plugged ducts. And, throughout the whole process, after each feeding for the first 2 months or so, I seemed to get an unexplained, undiagnosed pain that shot through both breasts.

I bought The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League, scoured the internet, attended a La Leche Meeting (where I was surprised to find no Latino women), and I went in to see a Kaiser Lactation Consultant about 6-7 times. Luckily, I had the will to continue and, unfortunately, became a self-proclaimed nipple martyr before I got a hang of things. All of this, I know now, was probably unnecessary. I lacked the proper education and support to prepare me to breastfeed correctly.

After 6 months of breastfeeding, when I hear of mamas who are having trouble breastfeeding, I want to offer some advice and support in all ways that I can. Because once you get a hang of things, looking down at your baby as they drink from your breast is so beautiful. Those days when Soluna looks up at me and smiles as she drinks, I know I have done something good. Here are my top 10 pointers on making breastfeeding work:

#1: The first 6 weeks: breastfeed! breastfeed! breastfeed. Breastfeed on cue, meaning whenever your baby shows signs of hunger and know in advance that this might mean your baby is at your breast 12+ hours a day. Your babies sucking will trigger the production of milk and the awakening of milk producing glands. The more your baby sucks, the more milk you make. The first 6 weeks will establish your ability to have enough milk for the long term.

#2: For at least 6 weeks: Keep the bottles away & keep the pacifier away! Bottles and pacifiers can lead to nipple confusion. Ouch. You want your baby to know how to latch on properly. The use of pacifiers might fool your baby into eating less than he/she needs because he/she may get most sucking needs satisfied in another way.

#3: Keep the formula a way! Mamas always seem to worry that their baby is not getting enough milk, especially when you can't see the amount that they eat. It can be a quick relief to see a baby gobble up a certain number of ounces of formula from the bottle. If you skip a feeding and give formula instead, you are telling your body you need less feedings and your body will respond by producing less milk. Therefore, even if you were producing enough milk, giving formula because you thought you weren't may actually cause the problem you were worried about.... Does that make sense?

#4: Seek expert support! Ask your lactation consultant, midwife or doula to help you if there are any problems. If you are in any pain, don't keep it to yourself. Fix the problem as soon as possible.

#5: Learn your baby's cues and trust yourself. You have incredible mama hormones that will make you more sensitive to your babies needs. Trust your heart and learn your baby. Most babies make very obvious cues when they are hungry: clicking their tongue, opening and closing their mouth, bringing their hands to their mouth. Feed them when they show these early signs of hunger and do not wait until they are crying. It can be more difficult to get your baby to latch properly if they are anxious. Babies will also tell you when they are done eating by delatching or falling aleep and letting the nipple fall out of their mouth.

#6: Know that breastfeeding is not just about feeding your baby, but comforting and socializing with him/her. Enjoy this time with you baby! Babies may cue to you that they are hungry right after they eat. You may think, "She/He's not hungry! I just fed him/her!" Or you might worry that he/she didn't get enough milk. In actuality, the baby might not be hungry, but they are cueing to let you know that they want you and they want to be in your arms. Babies have sucking needs. Do not worry about over-eating. Breastfed babies cannot over-eat and they will change their style of sucking for comfort, for eating or for getting mamas breasts to let-down milk.

#7: Get through the first 6 weeks! Do all you can to get past the sore nipples or early problems. By 6 weeks, you'll probably be lifting your shirt, unclipping your bra and having the baby latch in record time.

#8: Prepare! Prepare! Prepare! Read-up on breastfeeding, take a class and get all breastfeeding supplies before you have your baby. You will need some breastfeeding bras, breast pads and clothes that allow for easy booby access.

#9: Do not listen to moms who had their babies in the 70s or 80s, especially if they were unsuccessful breastfeeding or didn't breastfeed for longer than 6 months. You can get all kinds of wrong information. This is from my experience with my mother-in-law and mom. At the time when they had their kids, formula was just becoming popular and they were fed with so much misinformation on how to properly breastfeed.

#10: Get some support!! Make sure that your husband/partner/friend are there to help you in the early weeks. They can bring you drinks, extra food, a magazine to read, or chat with you while you breastfeed!

BONUS: Don't forget to eat... a lot & well!!

$upporting motherhood

On Tuesday, I will begin a new job after 6 months of maternity leave. I know that I am one of the lucky mamas of color in the United States. My City job paid decent disability insurance and I had saved up a few more weeks of sick, vacation and comp days to add to my maternity leave. After all was spent, my husband and I cut our expenses, tightened our belts and spent a few more weeks living off of his income. I was not ready to go back to work and I was still settling into my role as a Mama. Soluna had made us realize the value of raising our own children, especially at a young age. It was something we felt deeply in the months after she was born. And, I have learned to listen to my feelings. 6 weeks, 2 months, 3 months... so much more time is needed for mamas and babies to bond.

But financially we cannot sustain ourselves in this country on one income.

A few weeks ago I started applying for part-time jobs and got a great offer. Benji and I are moving forward having to continue to cut our expenses and change our lifestyle. We are taking about a 20% cut in our combined income. We have a large mortgage payment that use to eat more than 50% of our monthly income. But, raising Soluna ourselves is worth every penny and I will be as crafty and resourceful as possible to continue to make this work. I urge every mother who wants to stay home with their baby to think out of the box and MAKE it happen... although I know that is much easier said than done.

In other countries maternity/paternity leave is valued differently. This chart shows some of the options moms and dads have in other countries.

According to the momsrising.org:
* Having a baby is a leading cause of "poverty spells" in the U.S. -- when income dips below what's needed for basic living expenses.
* In the U.S., 49% of mothers cobble together paid leave following childbirth by using sick days, vacation days, disability leave, and maternity leave.
* 51% of new mothers lack any paid leave -- so some take unpaid leave, some quit, some even lose their jobs.
* The U.S is one of only 4 countries that doesn't offer paid leave to new mothers -- the others are Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and Lesotho.
* Paid family leave has been shown to reduce infant mortality by as much as 20% (and the U.S. ranks a low 37th of all countries in infant mortality).

"Family values" in this country does not mean that our country values families. The norm is to prioritize profit and work over people and relationships. When did careers become life? And life/family become hobbies?